Remembering the Boys in Red

I'm looking out the window at a very dark and rainy Friday afternoon. Guess that's why I've been putting tropical sunrise wallpaper on my computer screen, just a little lift for the January blahs that threaten to settle in early this year. Too much sad news, like everyone else in my region I was shocked and heartsick about the accident which killed seven boys on the basketball team and a teacher from Bathurst. They were all close to my son's age - it's all too easy to relate.

Watched the televised public funeral and laughed and cried along with half the province, as well as the 5000+ people who attended. The little things, how a guy liked paintball, one loved Guitar Hero (my son loves it too); one boy's sister laughing about what a lousy dancer he was. Just five minutes from home and safety and they were lost. Life is so precious and so fragile and every now and then an event like this really brings it home to most of us.

I always feel that since there is no guarantee of tomorrow, one should make the most of today. Just taking the time to notice the little things around us usually picks up my spirits. It's hard not to laugh if you watch the chickadees and the red squirrel trying to dodge each other back and forth at the feeder. The squirrel is sooo bold!!! He watches my approach, waiting until the last possible moment to jump back into the tree off the feeder tray - saucy bugger!!

Even as I write, the rain has stopped and the sun is actually peering out. First time I've seen it in about three days. Several nights have been beautiful, with a brilliant half moon over silvered snow, and Venus so bright it seems you could touch it.

The school bus just dropped off previously mentioned son, who as usual is burning to get on the computer - "Muum, I need the computer" - so I'll sign off here for today.

Into the New Year

Here we are, almost two weeks into the new year. Finally have the Christmas decorations packed away and the house reorganized (more or less) back to the usual everyday routine. Since the holidays we've had all kinds of weather extremes, heavy snow, cold, then a move to milder days and drenching rain and winds. My mailbox was a casualty of the heavy snow or the plow, not sure which, but one morning the poor thing was desperately lopsided. Have it sort of anchored now, but really hope we don't get any wild winds or it may go over completely.

Chickadees, a nuthatch, and a red squirrel are all enjoying the black oil sunflower seeds I've been filling the feeder with, and a pileated woodpecker has been hanging around too. Coming home late the other night, a damp and foggy evening, and the headlights picked up a young white-tailed deer standing very still just off the road by the woods. He turned and ran when we slowed down, appeared to be a young buck with antler buds just starting to show.

Our local power company is celebrating the new year by hiking the energy rate, bills out for year's end are horrendously high. I know people all over are getting hit with increases and it's hard when you're just making ends meet. Makes one thankful for the mild break we're getting in the temperatures. Today alone we've had a bit of freezing rain, pouring rain, and a little hail early in the day, weird weather, and the mercury is hovering around or above zero.

Noted the passing of Sir Edmund Hillary yesterday, an impressive gentleman. I admire people who use their fame and accomplishments to to do some good in this world. Such a lot of history goes with them as they pass on.

Musings after Christmas

Today finds me enjoying the Christmas vacation down time, no school buses to watch for or 6 a.m alarm, lovely to be lazy for a while. My son is having fun blasting at monsters or aliens, whatever, in the much coveted Unreal Tournament Sony game that topped his Christmas wish list. I've been out to pick up the mail - we're lucky enough to have our own mailbox - Dad's gift still hasn't come, and I'm expecting a card from an old friend in England not heard from yet this year. The wind is icy today, though it's only around zero (celsius) it feels a lot colder. More snow on the way if the the weather report is right, and the grey skies suggest it is, just looked out the window and flurries are starting to come down.

Yesterday at my sister's place, five deer spent a good part of the day grazing between the woods and her bedroom windows, pretty much at home there. She enjoys them now, not so much when gardening time comes around. Here at my place, there are what you could call physical signs deer have been hanging around under the bird feeder on the apple tree, but it's been when it was too dark to see them.

We had a peaceful Christmas, much enhanced by being able to gather around the fireplace at my sister's home after a very nice dinner. There is something enchanting about curling up in front of a wood fire and watching the flames dance. To keep my mood peaceful, I tend not to watch the news for a few days - usually avoid it on Christmas and Boxing Day, helps a lot.

Today I was saddened and angered by the news that Benazir Bhutto's enemies have managed to eliminate the woman who offered some hope for a democratic future for Pakistan. Not a good omen for the future, and a sad loss for her family. Having been active in Amnesty International in the past, I've met many leaders who fight for their people and I admire their courage. May she go in peace.

Meditations on December

Here we are in the countdown to Christmas and I wonder if someone else out there may have the December blues. Mostly, I love the holiday, the lights, the snow, the music, the turkey and pie and the family get-together.

But....I just turned fifty-five and my youngest son is sixteen, and old friends are far away these days, and the holiday always brings the wish, fierce at times, that my oldest, Jamie, could have been around to come home and share it with us. As a teen, he used to pretend to dislike the fuss and go around saying "Bah, humbug!!"

He was a bit of an anarchist and genuinely hated the gap between rich and poor that Christmas highlights with such cheerfully cruel clarity. In a perfect world, money or lack of it would not determine who has a good meal and presents under a tree. Still, for all that, he loved his niece and nephew, his grandparents, shortbread cookies, turkey dinner and good music.

He would try to call home around Christmas from Victoria, the city by the sea where he spent his last years. Always asking after Nanny and Grampie, pretending things were ok with him. Later, after we lost him, I found out he'd been among those on the streets, one of the addicted and lost who get Christmas dinner at the Salvation Army or another charity. It's not what any mother wishes for, is it? Taking a wreath to the cemetery means a lot, but how I wish he could join us for one more celebration.

Still, when the family gathers by the fireplace, there will be good cheer and laughter and pretty tree lights after dinner. When we toast "the ones with us and gone" he's one of those who will be in the family's thoughts this holiday.

As I write this, Gregorian chant fills the room with beauty and melancholy. If he were here, he'd tell me to put on some music to liven things up - Stevie Ray Vaughn or the Grateful Dead - and I will celebrate, to honour his memory too.

Merry Christmas to you and yours, whoever and wherever you are.

Kicking off the Christmas Season

I wonder if anyone else feels that Christmas has crept up from behind while they weren't looking. Wasn't it only yesterday that autumn was lingering for weeks? It only became cold enough to seem like winter in the past week, and there's been more rain than snow so far. So it came as a surprise to get out for a drive after dark and find that many of my neighbours have lights indoors and out, Christmas decorations up, even a few Christmas trees up. And it's not December until tomorrow!!

Around here, the season includes suppers and craft sales, so it was fun to get out and work with my sister at her bookshop sale table in one of the towns nearby. Children's books, craft kits and lovely handmade comforters are nice enough to sell themselves at times, and everyone who reads loves talking about favourite children's books. It's lovely to have family members with the talent to create crafts as I am not gifted that way myself, but love the handcrafted things.

A look into the stores is a bit depressing, with tons of plastic junk from China and aisles of gender divided toys. The all pink aisle for girls and the camouflage soldier stuff for boys make me feel a bit down - does nothing ever change?

On the plus side, there are two weeks of no school coming up, and my son looks forward to that as do I. No alarm at six in the morning will be a welcome break. It's often still a bit dark when he goes out to wait for the bus. Yesterday he startled a deer when he went out, heard hoofbeats thumping down the wood path across the road, a favourite hangout for the whitetails. Other than crows, the birds haven't been around much lately. Perhaps waiting for me to get out shopping for a new bag of birdseed for the feeder.

In spite of it all, I do like the holiday season and look forward to more family time. I have begun to decorate in my own small way, put a very nice fir wreath with bits of pine and cedar up on my front door today. It's the real thing, not plastic, and handmade too, by my sister, not by me. I added the red bows, as Martha Stewart as I'm about to get. Later there will be another wreath for the cemetery, remembering other Christmases when all of us could be together. And so it goes on the island as we move into December.

Remembering a Lost Fisherman

This has been a sad week for our community. Last Tuesday the lobster fishing season kicked off. It's a dangerous time for those who work at earning a living from the sea, winter's coming, the seas are rough and heavy winds are frequent.
On the first day, everyone is out at daylight with boats loaded with as many lobster traps as they can carry, all have to be set out to claim their area for the whole season. Because of this, the Dept. of Fisheries delays the opening when the weather is too rough, but a fisherman's life cannot be completely safe by its very nature.
This time one boat didn't make it through that first day, foundered in rough seas with engine trouble. Her captain and three crew ended up in the ocean when the boat went down.

It happens in minutes, and it's everyone's worst nightmare. The three crewmen survived, but the captain didn't make it. The funeral mass was this afternoon, on another windy day when the boats are out there, traps being pulled, baited, and put back in the still rough waters. The captain was my age and his son goes to the same school as mine. A dark time for his family.

My sister's husband, also a lobster fisherman, is out working those same waters. My nephew is trying it this year for the first time. For the rest of the season, we'll all be sending our prayers and thoughts to the family of that lost fisherman. Many families will be waiting and watching, checking the weather and the wind, until the last boat comes into harbour and ties up safely for each night. Many a silent prayer will be said each morning as the boats set out to sea for another long, long day.

They that go down to the sea in ships; and occupy their business in
great waters, these men see the works of the Lord: and his wonders in the deep.

Remembrance Day Weekend

A cold Friday, hints of winter to come in the raw wind this morning. The cooler days seem to bring the birds out, so I refilled the feeder under the apple tree. Didn't take long for the black-capped chickadees and red-breasted nuthatches that are the most common visitors to tuck in, though the pesky crows also soon discovered the sunflower seeds and had to be shouted at if anyone else was to get anything. They like to shake the feeder until all the seeds fall on the ground, not satisfied with their daily ration of dry bread and overcooked toast crusts. Heard a tap-tap-tap in the stand of old dead trees behind the shed, and there was a hairy woodpecker hacking away at the tree trunk, tearing off bits of bark in great enthusiasm.

Finally have most of the garden prepared for winter, just the butterfly bush and one Autumn Joy sedum left to cut back. Took quite a while to trim down the bee balm as it has spread into a major player in my herb garden. Several years ago I planted bee balm, tansy, chives and thyme into a small bed that is built into what we call the stone patio. It's really an area of patio stones framed by squared off logs (the wood is rotting away) with a concrete type of table and half circle benches. Looks a bit like an ancient ruin -- if you don't look too closely. It makes a nice spot for setting out containers of sun lovers, gets very hot on summer days and has no shade at all. This summer cherry tomatoes, portulaca, basil and summer savoury did very well out there, along with lemon gem marigolds. Love the gem marigolds, they last well into the fall and are so bright and cheerful.

Listening to CBC radio today and some programs have begun Remembrance Day related music and interviews. A regular and excellent radio drama I'm hooked on is part of Friday mornings -if you can get CBC listen for "Afghanada". I've been affiliated with the peace movement in the past and still believe in our goals, but I also honour and respect our veterans past and present. My Uncle Frank served in WWII and I always think of him at this time of year though he's been gone a long time now. I have a yellow ribbon tied to the cedar hedge by the road, and every time I look at it I think of the families who know their dear ones will never come home. My prayers and thoughts go out to our people in Afghanistan and those they mean to help. Tough world to figure out sometimes, most folk are doing the best they can to get by. The little things - a sunny day, a smile, a friendly greeting - they help us all through this world of ours.